Four Pot Harmony

I’ve already written this post once yet somehow it is nowhere to be found. Just imagine what you’re reading is far wittier than it really is. Cause the first one was perfection. Yeah, let’s just go with that.

The yard of my dreams would be a little like me; somewhat unruly, showing some age, but full of adventure and surprises. I don’t mean unruly like covered in kudzu and needs a bushhog to groom it, more on the wild and free side of things. Let’s just say “manicured” has never been an adjective used to describe me. Don’t get me wrong, I love using large planters and window boxes; things that add character and cohesiveness, kind of like my signature large earrings. But if you have ever met me, you know that if I have a cute outfit on, my hair is probably going to be a mess. And that’s a good day. So yeah, my yard is typically kinda like that.

Anyway, these dream gardens can be difficult to come by and difficult to achieve. Our current yard is definitely heavy on the unruly factor, moderate on the age, and light on the adventure and surprises. We are currently in the process of moving and it has really been difficult to find a yard that has what we are looking for. Sure, we can create a yard easier than we can create a house but it has definitely kept us from buying some of the houses we liked. One house was great but the yard was like a soccer field with a grill in the middle. No adventure, no age, and a vast expanse of perfectly manicured nothingness. Not my thing. I want my daughter to be able to play hide and seek in the yard and be able to actually hide somewhere without the use of an invisibility cloak.

So what's a girl to do when she comes up against a yard that doesn't quite fit the bill? Well, there are a few options. Let the plants run amok. Invest in copious amounts of garden gnomes. Let nature take its course. Personally, my preferred methods of adding age to a yard are through some mature plants and some aged pots. Something with some natural patina. The problem? They don’t sell aged pots at most big box stores or nurseries. At least not in my price point. So what do you do? You turn to Pinterest and try any and everything you find. At least that’s what I did.

For this week’s project, I decided to try 4 different methods for aging some simple terra cotta pots. I’ll give you the basics for each method as well as my thoughts on which ones were worth it.

Method 1: Baking Soda

Step 1: Lightly sand the pot to give the mixture some extra places to settle. Don’t be too consistent. Just a few swipes here and there with some fairly coarse sandpaper (I used 100 grit). I also feel like sanding around the rim of the pot and at the base quickly ages the pot and makes it look like it didn’t come straight off the store shelf.

Step 2: Mix baking soda and water to make a paste. You won’t need much, maybe a tablespoon or so.

Step 3: Brush on a heavy layer of the mixture with a paint brush. For this particular method, it is ok to be a bit heavy-handed. As with the sanding, trying to be a bit more random and haphazard will make the results look more natural.

Step 4: After allowing the paste to dry on the pot, lightly wipe off some of the excess mixture to create a more natural look. Warning: you will wipe off too much. That’s just how it goes. But that's why it is best to put on a heavy layer.

Step 5: Repeat steps 1-4.

Step 6: Once you get the pot looking how you want it to look, spray the pot with a clear matte spray paint to help seal the look.

Thoughts: This one is super easy but runs the risk of looking very fake. Hopefully the same can not be said for me.

Method 2: Textured Spray Paint

Step 1: As with the previous method, lightly sand the pot. Don’t worry so much about the sides of the pot but focus on the edges.

Step 2: Spray the pot with a textured spray paint. I used Rust-oleum multicolor textured.

Step 3: After the paint dries, lightly sand the pot to allow it look textured rather than covered in sand.

Step 4: Using a combination of off-white and green craft paint and a little bit of water to create a somewhat runny, mildewy green mixture, lightly brush the paint onto the pot to give the illusion of a pot that has been sitting outside exposed to the elements for years.

Step 5: After allowing the paint to dry, lightly sand one more time to achieve the final look.

Thoughts: I initially thought this looked super fake but the more I sanded and once I planted something in it, it began to look better. No analogies will be drawn here.

Method 3: Watered-Down Paint

The Hoya in this pot was doing great. Until about 1 day after I took this picture at which point it gave up on life. And to think, I thought I was going to finally be a successful houseplant mom.

I actually did this one earlier this year and didn't take pictures of the process. But it's much like the previous method but without the spray paint. So just look at those pictures and imagine it with only white paint. You've got this.

Step 1: Please tell me that by now you have figured out that you should first sand the pot.

Step 2: Mix off-white paint and water. Brush on the mixture haphazardly.

Step 3: After allowing the pot to dry, lightly sand the pot to achieve a natural look

Step 4: Are you noticing a pattern yet?

Thoughts: I think this one turned out best and most realistic. Aged and natural.

Method 4: The Yogurt Method. Or the “How to Attract Wild Animals to Your Porch” Method. Or the “Feet of the Old Man Who has been in the ICU for Months” Method

I have to admit, I was kind of excited about trying this method. The problem is that I saw it on Pinterest long ago and didn’t try it then. Then I decided to try it from memory. I think I forgot a few key components.

Step 1: Oh come on. Seriously? Sand the fricking pot.

Step 2: Get some old yogurt that is about to expire and slather it on the pot.

Step 3: Leave the pot outside for a couple weeks. I chose to leave it on the front porch and came out the next morning to find the innards of some animal next to the pot. I’m guessing an owl decided to ditch its lunch to partake in the yogurt and was sorely disappointed by the texture of the terra cotta. Either that or the family of bears that have been hanging out in our yard brought a peace offering.

Step 4: Have you ever seen the feet of someone who is seriously unwell? If you haven’t, the pot will demonstrate what they look like after it has been left to age for a couple weeks. Note, if your feet look like this pot, go to a doctor. NOW.

If you have ever worked in Critical Care, you see the parallels.

Step 5: Brush off some of that nastiness so it looks aged, not diseased.

After giving the pot a much needed "pedicure".

Thoughts: if you have a weak stomach, don’t do this one. This one definitely looks aged. And the longer it sits, the more aged it becomes. Which is great. Except it has the potential to look more dirty than aged. Hopefully I don’t look dirty, just aged. It also takes a while to do this but not as long as it would take if you just bought a new pot and left it outside to let nature take its course.

So there you have it. Four different methods for aging pots. There is another way which uses ground up moss with the yogurt that I have wanted to try but have been far to lazy to do so. Which one is your favorite? Have you tried a method not listed here? If so, let me know in the comments!