Redneck Recycling

This week I’ve got a bit of a double feature coming at ya. Why? Because they are just that simple and because next week is my birthday and I have a feeling my husband is surprising me with an exotic getaway. (You are surprising me with an exotic getaway, right, Sweetie? Pookie? Precious Babyheart? No? Oh…)

Anyway, if you know me you know I’m a child of the depression. Ok, maybe not but man would I have made a good kid in the 30’s. Unlike my sister (see last week’s post), I’m a bit more of a “keeper”. Where Weatherly likes to toss, I like to hold. Not hoard. Hold. Very different. I prefer to hold onto something until I can find another use for it or am fully convinced that it has realized its absolute fullest potential. Trust me, if you haven’t worked in the garden while your child uses an empty Tylenol bottle as a shovel, you haven’t experienced true joy.

Most days around here start with my daughter requesting to color and end with her playing in the sprinkler. And somewhere in between the two she helps me by putting away the recycling. It’s her chore. I feel like teaching her some responsibility at a young age is a good thing. That and it takes her about 30 seconds to walk to the recycling bin, open the cabinet, place the item, close the door, and return for another item. My thought is that while I'm cooking I might as well hand her the containers after I have rinsed them out. A can here and a jar there and she is thoroughly entertained for at least a few minutes giving me a chance to chop, mix, etc. Plus, the look of pride she gives me when she does it is RIDICULOUSLY CUTE!!! Side note, if you sit something down in my house and turn around to find it missing, check the recycling. Or the cabinet with the pots and pans. Or under the couch. (Oh god, is that where the remainder of her sandwich went…? That explains so much. BRB!)

Therefore, for this week’s activities, I’ve decided to combine a few of my and my daughter’s favorite things; coloring, playing in the water, and recycling, in the most redneck of ways.

Project #1: REDNECK COLORING BOOK

In previous posts I’ve discussed how coloring is the number 1 way I keep my daughter entertained while I cook and she recently finished her first coloring book. To the point that she refused to color in it anymore because there was absolutely no blank space left. Hey, waste not want not, kiddo! (You will be happy to know that I put it in the recycling, not in the filing cabinet, by the way.) And while I do have another cheapie coloring book waiting to be used (thanks $1 bin at Target), why not use the box I just handed her to put in the recycling? Free(ish) coloring book!!! And you know what’s better than coloring the inside of one box? Coloring the inside of multiple boxes! Staple ‘em together and you have a homemade (redneck) coloring book. The perfect addition to your child’s memory box! Just kidding! Use it then throw it away (in the recycling of course)!!!! Even I have my limits of what I'll hold onto. Unless he/she does something really cute… Then you can hang your newly colored recycling on your own wall of fame.

Step 1: Collect random paper products headed for the recycling bin. My daughter seems to really appreciate La Croix boxes. And paper bags. And cereal boxes. Whatever. Come on. It’s paper and they are kids and you should just be happy they are coloring on something other than the wall you’ve already scrubbed and repainted.

Step 2: Tear boxes/bags to where they lay flat.

Step 3: Give child crayons.

Step 4: Allow child to scribble to their heart’s content.

Think of the fine motor skills they are gaining!

A great opportunity for them to learn to draw awful cartoon faces.

Step 5: Align paper products so they all fold at the same “spine”.

I like to think this is preparing my daughter for a career as a vandal. Just imagining these beautiful designs sprayed under bridges brings a tear to my eye.

Step 6: Staple.

Be sure to personalize your coloring book so no one else can claim it as theirs.

Step 7: Keep forever as this is clearly high quality.

Don't underestimate the benefit the handle can add. You and your little one are definitely going to want to take this everywhere!

So many minutes of entertainment! Minutes and minutes I tell you!

Project #2: REDNECK WATER PARK

Who doesn’t love a water park? Think of the excitement those slides, wave pools, and urine-tinged lazy rivers have to offer. Now think of a small child throwing (still urine-tinged) water all over themselves and everything else in your yard. Basically the same level of excitement, right? Ok, now think about running through your neighbor’s sprinklers in the 80’s. Add the two together and multiply that by 10 because this one is good.

Step 1: Gather large vessels and fill with water. I prefer mixing bowls, planters, and coolers.

The more bowls the merrier.

Step 2: Dig in the recycling (or have your young child dig in it) and pull out any plastic recyclable.

I call this "Still Life with Plastics 1 and 5".

Step 3: Use (well-rinsed) plastic recyclables to pour water all over themselves and anything else you accidentally left in the path of this child-typhoon.

For added fun, allow your child to pull food off your plate and throw on the deck. Soak said food to a mushy consistency and forget about said food. Step in bemushed food hours later for extra slippery fun!

If you’re feeling extra adventurous, add a real baby pool, slip 'n slide, or a sprinkler. And seriously, who needs one of those adorable plastic crab-shaped sifter things when you have a nearly empty pint of blueberries in the fridge? Gobble those things up and get to playing!

So there you have it! Two simple “crafts” we have been doing a lot around here lately. Yes, you too can reduce, reuse, and recycle while gaining minutes of entertainment for your little one. And if you’re anything like me, you will feel satisfied that your recycling has truly lived a full life.